Last 30 days, there have been deaths all around us. A few days ago, the wife of my student passed away due to COVID-19, so did the mother of another student.
How do I call on these people? Do I tell them I am sorry? Do I tell them that those, whom God loves, die young? Or do I tell them esoteric things like they are in another room where we cannot connect to but still feel their presence?
During my stint at FMS, I stayed for a year in Dhaulakuan, Delhi. One evening while strolling through a park, I chanced upon a mother and her two young children talking to a tree.
“Papa, I got 90 marks in social studies”, said the young girl.
“Dad, I am in the school chess team”, said the boy. The family thus spent an hour talking to the ‘Dad’.
Death more than grief brings fear. How am I going to lead the rest of my life without this person? Will, I never hear his voice, smell his body or see his idiosyncrasies ever again? We want to be with the person evermore. We wish to believe that this ‘PERSON’ is there through & through with us as the guiding light.
DAD DOES NOT MOVE ON, HE MOVES IN.
So, how do I talk about the ‘DEAD’ to the loved ones? The ‘DEAD’, they live forever.
The loved ones fear that this ‘BEAUTIFUL ESSENCE’ may be forgotten forever.
No, listen; ASK them to tell about this person – tell me, what can I learn from him/her? His / her values, principles, what love and friendship meant to him/her, how he/she shared joy, how did he/she build mastery and excellence. There is so much for us to gain from this person’s LIFETIME.
The question is – are we ready to LISTEN or MOVE ON?
The mother asked her 5-year-old daughter, why she spent so much time in the neighbor’s house – “mom, the leg of my friend’s doll broke and Kaviya was crying”.
“So, what did you tell her?” asked the mother.
“Mom, I cried along with her”, stated the little one.