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After conducting a faculty development workshop at a prestigious college in Trichy for about 100 teachers, it was time for me to collect their feedback. The faculty had to give 2 sets of feedback. One to me and one to the college management. By mistake, the college management feedback came to me.

I eagerly went through it and was aghast when 4 of the faculty members had mentioned that my session was substandard.

When I exchanged this set of feedback for the feedback that I was entitled to, I found all the 100 faculty singing hallelujahs about my workshop. How could these 4 rip me apart in the feedback? Why did they tell me on my face that this was the best workshop they had ever attended in their life?

Am I that bad? Should I quit training? I knew that I was a failure. I cannot make anybody happy. These thoughts cascaded in the snowballing effect. I called up my mentor and friend. I recounted the details.

“Are you crazy man? Do you know that 15% of the people who attended the Tony Robbins workshop complained that it is the worst workshop they had ever attended? If this is the case for Tony Robbins then you need to celebrate. You had a much better rating – 4%.”

Instantly he changed my state. I saw life from a different perspective. From the worst trainer in the world, I became the very best in few seconds.

The conscious mind can carry only 7 bits of information; the subconscious mind carries 12 million bits. Every information – the stimulus has to be reframed and converted into a powerful belief before it is permanently etched in our memory. We have to be very careful as wrong beliefs processed by our minds unconsciously lead to faulty behaviors. I am a victim of these wrong beliefs many a time.

Recently a former student cum employee of mine made a scathing attack on me on social media. He claimed that I was greedy, made a bad son, once was a dictatorial father and most atrocious of all, made someone else write a book that made my daughter popular.

Instantly, this information percolated from my conscious (7 bits) to my unconscious (12 million bits). My faulty beliefs started churning – how dare he make such preposterous allegations, how ungrateful (I had paid all his dues) and how could I give a befitting reply.

My daughter (my guru) stopped me dead on my tracks. She said, “Dad, don’t you realize that this boy is going through severe pain and craving for affection? Don’t you understand that he cares about parenting? Perhaps, at some point in life, you had unconsciously triggered his pain and you need to leave him alone so that he can focus his energies on a higher purpose rather than expending the prime of his youth. He is also unknowingly making you famous by venting his ire.”

My daughter reframed my state instantly!

By Shiv from S & S Family First


being reactive, bestselling author, blog, blogger, blogging, Buddha, conscious mind, consciousness, family, family first, family first book, family success coach, happiness, meditation, mind, parenting, parenting 101, ssfamilyfirst, training, unconscious mind, vipassana, workshop


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Siva & Savi

Shiv & Savy are entrepreneurs, best-selling authors, passionate trainers and philanthropists. Their programs have empowered the lives of over a million people across 5 states.

8 Responses

  1. Such an eye opener of an article. Appreciate your disarming candidness in recounting such unsavoury experiences. However, find it hard to believe that you could be at the receiving end of such harsh criticism. Looking forward to more…

  2. A Wonderful work on Conscious and Sub Conscious Mind..very much needed in these days to lead a happy and peaceful life amidst lot of distractions of the modern world.
    My best Wishes..

  3. Great article. Yes the Conscious memory part of our lives being Prarabdha & the “Immense” Subconscious Emotions part being the Sanchita, the latter giving the FRUIT of any Karma.

    Absolutely, I second what Sagarika said – Voh toh actually, Khud RO raha hai Pyaar ke liye. So, actually, he is a sick person & instead, you show mercy to the sick.

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